What Is an Intimacy Director and What Should You Expect in the Rehearsal Room?

As someone who primarily works in theatre, I often get questions like:

• "What exactly is an Intimacy Director?"

• "Do I need one for my show?"

• "What can actors and directors expect from that process?"

This blog is a guide to how Intimacy Direction works in live theatre, and what it can look like for actors, directors, stage managers, designers, and producers.

What Is an Intimacy Director?

An Intimacy Director (ID) helps stage scenes involving:

• Kissing or physical intimacy

• Simulated sex or undressing

• Power-based dynamics (like abuse or coercion)

• Emotional vulnerability

Much like a fight choreographer or dialect coach, the Intimacy Director creates a safe structure for storytelling. The ID works with the cast and creative team to stage intimacy clearly and repeatably, making sure that every person involved feels informed, empowered, and supported.

What Happens in Rehearsal?

Pre-Production Conversations
Before rehearsals begin, the Intimacy Director meets with the director and/or creative team to:

• Understand the themes, tone, and goals of the play

• Clarify what intimacy is in the script and where it lives in the story

• Discuss safety protocols and support for actors

Establishing Consent Culture
The ID may lead a consent-based warm-up or workshop with the cast to:

• Introduce shared language (like “closed rehearsal,” “consent to touch,” etc.)

• Teach basic tools for giving and withdrawing consent

• Help everyone learn how to say “yes,” “no,” or “not right now” without fear or shame

Choreographing Intimacy
Just like dance or stage combat, intimate scenes are blocked and rehearsed step by step. The choreography is:

• Specific

• Repeatable

• Based on agreed boundaries

• Designed to tell the story

Integration with the Show
The ID collaborates with the director and actors to make sure the scene fits tonally and serves the play. The ID may also work with designers, wardrobe, and stage management to ensure modesty garments, lighting, and transitions support the intimacy safely.

During the Run

Even after the show opens, the ID’s role doesn’t stop:

• They may attend previews or early performances

• Stage management is trained in how to maintain choreography and consent boundaries, but boundaries may change and the ID must be prepared to re-choreograph

• A “consent check-in” may happen before each show or after any performance where something felt “off”

Why Use an Intimacy Director?

An ID helps create:

• Safer rehearsal rooms

• More sustainable processes for actors

• Clearer storytelling for audiences

• Reduced risk for producers and organizations

Just like we wouldn’t ask actors to choreograph their own sword fight, we shouldn’t expect them to navigate intimacy without support.

Intimacy Direction isn’t about limiting artistic freedom. It’s about building trust, structure, and communication so that everyone in the room can do their best, most honest work.