On Taking a Note
I hate receiving a note.
I hate being told what to do.
I might just have a general issue with authority, but that is for therapy, not this blog, so I digress.
Actor, Bradley Whitford, talks about the three stages of taking a note:
“F**k you.”
“I’m Sh*t”
“Okay.”
And nothing has ever resonated more deeply.
Over time I’ve built systems and practices that help me move through the first two stages faster so I can land in “okay” and do the work.
I’d thought I’d share.
Do the Prep Work, So the Note Doesn’t Feel Like a Personal Failure
When I’ve done my homework/prepwork, when I know I’ve brought my full self to the room, a note doesn’t threaten my sense of competency.
Prep work for me includes:
grounding myself before rehearsal
warming up my body and voice
eating properly
understanding the material (I know that some people can, but I cannot wing it)
knowing my choices and why I made them
reviewing content from the previous rehearsal
being prepared in general
Work Only With People You Trust
I am extremely intentional about who I collaborate with.
I avoid directors who use rehearsal to perform authority.
I avoid “leaders” who haven’t done the personal work required to direct other humans.
I choose collaborators who show:
clarity
care
respect
aligned values
emotional maturity
This matters because taking a note requires vulnerability.
You cannot be open in a room where you don’t feel safe.
When I know a director is working from generosity I can hear the note for what it is: an invitation to help the piece grow.
Recognize the First Two Emotional Stages… and Don’t Act From Them
One thing that I have learned is that my first instinct is my worst instinct.
I need time to steep.
Land in “Okay,” Where Collaboration Can Actually Begin
Stage 3 “okay” is where the work actually happens.
“Okay” is an active choice to trust the process, trust the relationship, and trust myself.
Taking a note will probably never feel easy for me. But it has become possible because I’ve built systems to support me and honour my professionalism.
This is what I try to remember:
A note is about the work.
And the quicker I can navigate the emotional stages and land in okay, the more spacious, collaborative, and joyful the process becomes.