Why Creative Conflict Feels So Personal

Creative conflict feels personal because creative work is personal.

Artists create what feels like an extension of ourselves. It's no wonder that feedback and/or disagreement can feel so personal.

To build a life in the arts also requires a tremendous amount of commitment. We sacrifice stability and risk economic uncertainty because we believe the work matters. That investment can make it even harder to separate criticism of the work from criticism of ourselves.

And look, passion is one of the great gifts of this profession. Creative life is a calling.

The challenge is learning to hold our passion without allowing our work to define our worth.

My work is not my worth.

My work is not my worth has become an important phrase and mantra for me of late.

The reality is this: not every grant application will be funded. In this last round of ArtsNL grants, 66% of project grants were rejected.

Likewise, work, if you get it, is not always going to resonate.

If my sense of worth rises and falls with those outcomes, that external validation, I'm giving away far too much control over my own life.

Centre the work.

So this is my antidote: centre the work.

Not “your” work, “THE” work.

The artists I love working with, those I return to again and again, are the ones who ask: How can I serve the work?

Make no mistake, these folks have strong points of view. They're passionate. They're smart. They do not back down from a scrap. I certainly don’t.

But what we do agree on is putting ego aside to serve the work at hand.

When you centre the work, you can let go of the idea that you're the only one responsible for its outcome. You're part of it. You have a responsibility to bring your your best, but the work doesn't live or die on your back.

And I find that incredibly liberating.

Some directors might balk at that idea. With love, I'd gently suggest that you were never making the show on your own anyway, babe. So get into it.

The best work I've ever been part of has always belonged to the room. It bloomed because a group of people were willing to bring their whole selves and then let the work become something bigger than any one of them could have made alone.

In Practice

So, in practice…. the next time you find yourself feeling defensive in a rehearsal, production meeting, or creative conversation, try asking yourself:

• Am I protecting the work, or am I protecting my ego?

And then ask:

• What best serves the piece we're making together?

A Thought

Perhaps we can let go of needing to be validated by the work, and instead allow the act of making it to be its own validation.